Many of us have heard the verse quoted, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged” (Matthew 7:1). Many who quote that verse interpret it to mean that we are never to confront anything. However, that does not fit what Jesus said in that verse. He goes on to using symbolic language of sin and says, “take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). In other words, confront your brother over their sin. Now of course there are a few verses before that, so this is not all there is to confrontation.

Jesus instructed us on how we are to confront. He says, “how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:4). There is an obvious size difference between a speck and a log. If I have a major sin issue that is not being dealt with and my brother has a minor issue of sin, I cannot flip out about his minor sin issue and continue in my major sinful lifestyle. If someone is involved in an affair and they get irate with someone who speeds, complaining that they are not obeying the laws and therefore are disobeying God, well there is something wrong with that.

Now because we are sinners does not mean that we avoid confrontation. In fact Jesus also said in this passage, “first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Being judgmental is simply a matter of order or if all the correct components are included. Again, if we condemn someone for sinning while we have some secret sin that we aren’t even attempting to change then Jesus calls us a “Hypocrite” (Matthew 7:5). It is this that is the judgmental attitude Jesus is talking about, not an absolute removal of confrontation. Therefore, before you confront take a good look at yourself. If there is sin, deal with it and then move on to confront.

Now when we offer correction it must be done through the scripture. For Paul told us that it is through the “Scripture” that we offer “correction” (2 Timothy 3:16). The reason why this is so is because if you are offering the word of God as confrontation, then you are not the primary agent of confrontation. It is not your judgements, but God’s. If someone is going against the Bible, they are going against God and therefore sinning. So many people who are confronted are quick to say, “what gives you the right, you did such and such.” Make sure to point out to them that for this reason you did not offer your own judgment. If you truly confronted them with the Word of God, then it is God that is bringing the judgement. This is the reason we correct with the Bible, because we are not justified in judging. So again we must have dealt with or be dealing with our sin before we can confront someone over theirs. Also, we must use the Bible to confront otherwise we are bringing judgment as opposed to allowing God to do so.

Also, this confrontation is supposed to be done with “gentleness” (2 Timothy 2:25). Confrontation must come with an attitude of love, concern, and mercy and with a tone that is gentle. We should never berate someone over their sin. Again, this does not mean that we do not confront. Being judgmental is not a confrontation period, but it is the manner in which it is carried out.

Lastly, Jesus gave us further direction on how to confront. First of all it is to be done privately. “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private” (Matthew 18:15). Now if they do not listen to you and they are truly a Christian brother then the confrontation does not end here. Jesus went on to say, “if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed” (Matthew 18:16). There are several benefits to this. First of all, if the one confronting is incorrect, including additional people may bring this to light. However, if the one confronting is correct then this will give more credibility to the confrontation. Now “if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church” (Matthew 18:17). The next step is to take the issue to church leadership. Again, this further eliminates the possibility that the ones carrying out the confrontation are incorrect and gives higher credibility to the confrontation. Now “if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17). It is at this point that the individual is no longer seen as a Christian brother.

If there is an absence of confrontation, then there is an absence of accountability. If there is an absence of accountability, then there is likely an absence of righteousness. If there is an absence of righteousness, then there is also an absence of faith. Without genuine, biblical, gentle confrontation there will be a steady decline in Christianity. Is this not what we have seen for the past several decades. As people complain “do not judge” people fall steadily in to the sea of sin. While many, including preachers, are coddling them on their way to hell, the message of both John the Baptist and Jesus was “Repent!” (Matthew 3:2, 4:17). If “Repent!” was there message shouldn’t it be ours. Again, we should not cease to confront; we should cease to confront the wrong way. Now go and “preach the word” (2 Timothy 4:2).